When you become a mother, there appears to be an unwritten expectation that you must sacrifice your entire life and identity for your children and family. It's easy to get so caught up in looking after everyone else that we neglect ourselves, forgetting that we also deserve attention. We become engrossed in caring for our kids, partners, family, and friends, inadvertently putting our own needs on the back burner. Over time, this neglect can lead to a loss of identity as the weight of meeting everyone else's needs takes its toll on us.

Despite our good intentions in caring for our families, the stress can gradually morph into resentment and anger. Personally, I find myself grappling with these emotions now. After dedicating my adult life to caring for others and neglecting myself, I feel drained and frustrated, which is affecting my interactions with those around me.

I don't want to feel this way, and it's not their fault that I overlooked my mental well-being. It's just how life unfolded. As I navigate through my feelings of frustration and anger, I realize that I was never taught the importance of self-care. I believe that as young mothers, we should be encouraged to prioritize ourselves at times, engaging in activities that bring us joy.

It's essential to strike a balance between caring for ourselves and our families. Being a little selfish in self-care is necessary to be able to care for our families effectively. Taking extra time for a relaxing bath, listening to music in the car, or enjoying a quiet moment outside can help us recharge and feel whole. Neglecting ourselves will only hinder our ability to care for others optimally. It's okay to be selfish occasionally so that we can be selfless for those in our lives.

This principle is crucial for all parents, especially those with special needs children. Being a mother to a child with bipolar disorder presented unique challenges - the demands were relentless and exhausting. The emotional toll, coupled with the physical demands of daily life, created a constant state of chaos.

For years, I placed my needs last, tending to my family before addressing my own emotional wounds. I internalized external criticisms, burying them deep inside, only for them to resurface at night. It took a toll on me, impacting my emotional well-being and resilience.

Now that my son is an adult, I have more time to care for my family and myself. I've learned to distance myself from negative influences and prioritize self-care. Enjoying moments of solitude, singing along to my favorite songs, and taking time for myself have become essential. Prioritizing self-care is not selfish; it's necessary for my well-being and, ultimately, for the well-being of my loved ones.

-Tiffani & Amy